AEROSMITH Drummer: 'You Have To Forgive And You Have To Let Go Of The Past'

Randy Patterson of Boomerocity recently conducted an interview with AEROSMITH drummer Joey Kramer. A couple of excerpts from the chat follow below.

On how key the role of forgiveness played in turning his life around:

Kramer: "Oh! Very key! Very key! You have to forgive and you have to let go of the past because, without letting go of the past, without forgiving, you really can't move on. You really can't move forward with your life in any capacity. And as long as it takes to conjure up that forgiveness, that's how long you stay stuck. . . [Forgiving my father] before he passed . . . that was really important to me because, otherwise, I would've really been stuck there. It really was an amazing moment for me. After doing a lot of therapy, I just came to him and — well, the reality of it is that I was doing it for myself but for him as well. It released him and cleaned the slate for us both before he passed."

On what technique, what attitude or what actions have been successful for him in standing up to those who have wished to dominate him or new relationships that tried to dominate him:

Kramer: "Well, that's a very interesting question. My answer to that would be to own yourself; to own your own feelings, your own emotions, and not let co-dependency get in the way — with co-dependency being that you're dependent upon someone else to feel good about yourself. It's very important to own your own feelings and to stand up for yourself.

"In the past, I've always had a difficult time standing up for myself and, by virtue of that, sometimes you establish relationships with people who are not even conscious or aware of their taking advantage of you or your emotions. If things go a certain way for them and they get certain perks — from me anyway — they get certain perks by being your friend and then all of a sudden, when you take back the turf that you let them own, they don't like that and it makes people very uncomfortable. And that in itself is a very difficult thing to deal with. But you have to own your own emotions and your own feelings and basically, for me, a big part of it was learning to stand up for myself."

On whether he had been hiding behind the drums:

Kramer: "Well, where I really hid the most, I found, was in my drug addiction and in my alcoholism and once that was gone and I got rid of that, there was no place to hide. Then I really came into the depression and the anxiety. I think that was the lack of being able to deal with the stuff that we've been talking about. Because I think depression and anxiety, which goes hand-in-hand with it, is un-dealt-with anger that reverts back inside you. If you can't be outward with it, then it comes in and attacks you inwardly."

"I was just really emotionally distraught and bankrupt when I had my breakdown back in 1995. That's when I dealt with all of that. I was already 9 years clean and sober. So I was really wondering, 'Wow, I've been clean and sober for 9 years and now, what is this all about?' Because people are under the impression that getting clean and sober is the answer itself which it really isn't. It's only part of it."

On what his "elevator speech" would be to a room full of people, kids and adults alike, who are either in homes like he was as a kid or were at their own "Miami cross-roads" as he was in 1995.

Kramer: "Well, it's a difficult thing to just say and pull off at the same time but I think that the biggest attribute that I was able to establish for myself was honesty. And once you're able to be completely honest with yourself then I think a lot of things begin to fall into place. Because, you know, we have a lot of things justified and we make excuses for anything and everything in life, whether it's for not doing certain things that we should do or being a certain way and not correcting it or being mean to people and not being a pleasant person.

"I mean, there are all kinds of justifications for everything but when you get down to being honest with yourself, I mean, for real, because I believe that we all have that little voice inside, you know? That little voice inside – that we know better? Unless you're troubled by being mentally ill in some fashion, then when that little voice talks to you, then that's the honesty. I know that I have that little voice inside and I've done a lot of work and a lot of therapy and I honor that little voice inside."

Read the entire interview from Boomerocity.